From: Steve Davies Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.fandom Subject: VoM Issue 15 (Worldcon Newsletter) Date: Sun, 03 Sep 95 17:43:00 GMT Organization: The Fortress Unvanquishable, Save For Sacnoth Lines: 90 Reply-To: steve@vraidex.demon.co.uk VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS The INSANE Newszine Tuesday 29th August - Obsessive Edition - Issue 15 Programme on Time Much to the surprise of all concerned, Tuesday's programme is running on time with no items cancelled or moved. Program Ops said "if only we'd thought of having no programme items on all the other days as well. Everything would have been so much simpler..." How To Get Into SFWA Our Author mole tells us that last night's break-in attempt on the SFWA suite was unfortunately unsuccessful. While desperately trying to find a party, two stalwart scribes decided they were going to get into the SFWA suite and proceded to attack the lock armed only with a Swiss army penknife. They also apparently considered telling the hotel that the baby of one of the authors was locked in there. Fortunately they abandoned this idea before sparking off yet another kidnapping scare (don't ask us, ask Ops, they know what we're talking about). Faust With The News Michael Swanwick delighted audiences in the Forte Crest last night by giving two performances of his famous five-minute Faust. I saw the first performance and was very impressed by the dramatic feeling conveyed by the extensive assortment of props (comprising a cigar, a cigar box, cigar cutter and a box of matches). Several people commented that this would have made a great masquerade interval item. Fiona Puts Her Foot In It Head of Operations and Deputy Chair Fiona Anderson attempted to walk on air yesterday after being tempted with a senior position on a Glasgow in 2003 bid. Unfortunately, flights of angels failed to bear her up and she crashed to earth, damaging her foot which had to be taken to hospital. Fiona is believed to be looking forward to the return of her foot which should provide a good excuse for not doing anything in the next nine years. WSFS Okay, so we didn't say anything at all about WSFS in any of the preceding issues. We apologise. Honest. Grovel, grovel, grovel. However, just as a special favour to Kevin Standlee, here are all of Robert Sacks' reports printed on a microdot. . Sports Report The World International Knurdling Championship (held in the ballroom of the Forte Crest last night) was won by Brian, a member of the hotel staff. David Cooper retains his record as fastest Astral Pole. Karen Westhead was the youngest successful astral poler, Mike Westhead the oldest at 46. Quote A certain Division Head's system for reading email was recently revealed as "If someone rings me about it, then I'll read the email". An unknown American fan was overheard saying while reading a previous copy of the newsletter "Why is this so light-hearted? These guys have no idea what should go in a convention newsletter..." Dead dog: "I don't think that's at all funny. Have you considered a career in publishing?" Party On Many thanks to Kurt and Scott for the excellence in partying badge (come on guys, what happened to the report on the gopher/dead dog party? We're here, where were you?) which they gave to Steve at the Forte Crest last night. Did you make the Evolution party with its interesting nibbles (DNA spirals, pickled brains, primeval slime etc.)? We're told it was packed. The End Look, what are you guys doing still here? We told you to go home in Issue 14. Don't you have homes to go to? Anyone would think you were enjoying yourselves... Credits This issue dedicated to Benyalo muse of smoffing. Chairman Steve Davies, Head of Punning Chris O'Shea, Tech Ops Mike Scott, Publisher Liaison Alex Stewart, Head Gopher Jan van't Ent, Head of Scurrilous Rumours Kathy Westhead, Extravaganzas Giulia de Cesare, Official War Artist Sue Mason, Head of Hops Alison Scott. -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stephen M.W. Davies | steve@vraidex.demon.co.uk | sdavies@cix.compulink.co.uk | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------