From netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!howland.reston.ans.net!darwin.sura.net!news.larc.nasa.gov!lerc.nasa.gov!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!cbergstr Tue Nov 15 02:06:54 1994 Xref: netcom.com alt.humor.best-of-usenet:2056 Path: netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!howland.reston.ans.net!darwin.sura.net!news.larc.nasa.gov!lerc.nasa.gov!magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu!cbergstr From: mpk@frink.demon.co.uk (Mike Knell) Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.current-events.net-abuse] Is there a short-but-sweet response to the neverending MMF spam? Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d Date: 14 Nov 1994 19:41:43 GMT Organization: best of usenet humor Lines: 100 Approved: ahbou-mod@acpub.duke.edu Message-ID: <3a8ehn$gtl@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> NNTP-Posting-Host: beauty.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu X-Disclaimer: the "Approved" header verifies header information for article transmission and does not imply approval of content. See .sig below. X-Submissions-To: ahbou-sub@acpub.duke.edu Originator: cbergstr@beauty.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu Status: RO From: neil@Smallworld.co.uk (Neil "YoYo" Pawson) Newsgroups: alt.current-events.net-abuse Subject: Re: Is there a short-but-sweet response to the neverending MMF spam? Keywords: clueless newbies, Rhodes-to-hell I like this reply to MMF posts (by Dmitri Lide I think) ------------------------------------------------------- Dear Friend, My name is Melvin Gladstone. In July 1993, my brain shut off and the usenet community was hounding me like you wouldn't believe. I was laid (less frequently). The only escape I had from the pressure of stupidity was my computer and my modem. I longed to turn my cat into Cindy Crawford. This November 1990, my mind restored, I began to see and understand everything. Suddenly, government spy aparadus and attempts to control the populace with lecithin became clear. Today I have a clue! I will never have to study again. Anyone can do the same. I have NEVER failed to get a clue whenever I wanted. Best of all, you never have to leave home. Also, I have a collection of the most pedestrian and materialistic possessions associated with wealth thanks to my friend Dave Rhodes. But that's not the point here. Sincerely yours, Melvin Gladstone -- INSTRUCTIONS -- Follow these directions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days, you will have received well over 50,000 clues, all yours. This program has remained successful because of the GULLIBILITY and STUPIDITY of the participants. Please continue its success by carefully adhering to the instructions. [1] Immediately flame the first five(5) names listed below starting at number 1 and going through number 5. Send crass and non-constructive abuse only please. [2] Remove the name that appears at number 1 on the list. Move the other 9 names up one position. (Number 2 will become number 1, and number 3 will become number 2, etc. (if you're really an idiot you might need more help with this part)). Place your email address in the number 10 position. [3] Post the new letter with your name in the number 10 position into ten(10) separate bulletin boards in the message base or to the file section, call the file GET.CLUE.FAST. [4] Within 60 days, you will receive over 50,000 CLUES. Keep a copy of this file yourself so that you can use it again whenever you feel ignorant. -- NAMES -- 1. dork@renegade.cc.uni.edu (David G. Ork) 2. ug374@math23.math.nmu.edu (Ima Fule) 3. - 9. [got lost somehow, oh well, no biggy] 10. mel@pisspot.ece.nd.edu (Melvin Gladstone) The following letters were written by members participating in the program: -------------------- My name's David Ork. Now I'm the number 10 on the list. I also tried a process like this through the mail about two years ago. I mailed only two letters to two of my friends and they told me I was a moron. I know this will work! I'm very happy to see something like this again. KEEP THIS MOVING! -------------------- I am now the number 10 and am not sure about this. Let's all be thick and as David says, let's keep it moving. -- Ima Fule (if you don't try, you'll never get a clue!) -------------------- Well, now I'm number 10, and it seems to be working. The only way this system can fail now is if you ignore it and the exponential growth stops. ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [artifact from an old list, left in because it shows the glimmer of a clue MG] -- Dmitri Lide -- The moderators of alt.humor.best-of-usenet will post any article submitted to them, as long as it's formatted properly and doesn't violate copyright law. We do not filter out unfunny articles, so if this article didn't make you laugh, it's not our fault. See the FAQ for more info.